1. a short work of fanfiction written when a person cannot otherwise articulate themselves as to why a certain point in another canon is terrible 2. a work of fanfiction written in response to a particular scene of idiocy in another work of fiction, usually resulting in grievous harm to the characters in question 3. a reworking of a canonical scene to reapply reality (see also Reality Enema) 4. TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID SUETHOR.
Welcome to Twi-Spite, a fanfic community devoted to tearing Twilight a new one in prose!
In case you didn’t catch it the first time, a “spitefic” is when a recapper or sporker just can’t take it anymore—they’ve hit upon something so stupid or so ridiculous that trying to explain normally why it fails so hard will be futile, so they instead write a short fanfic about what would really happen if reality and logic hadn’t been thrown out the window by bad writing. There is no limit to how they can be written—serious spitefics showing the ramifications of poor decisions, funny spitefics that show just how stupid characters are, self-insert spitefics where the author of the spitefic jumps right in to bitchslap everybody, crossover spitefics, reworking spitefics to either see if they can make a character more sympathetic or make a silly situation seem logical—the possibilities are endless.
And believe me when I say Twilight is a veritable bastion of potential spitefics.
Twispite fanfic is nothing new—there are plenty of places where frustrated writers try to “revamp” Twilight, rewriting it to show that it had promise, it just got buried under horrible prose and awful characterization. However, due to growing popularity of tiny spitefics and “Take THAT” pieces I’ve seen, I figured a community where everyone can gather was in order.
Membership and posting are both moderated because spam has apparently been rampant as of late. Just apply, and one of the mods, das_mervin or gehayi, will approve you. Same with your posts.
1)ABSOLUTELY NO SPITEFICS WHERE STEPHENIE MEYER HERSELF IS THREATENED, ATTACKED, OR OTHERWISE HARMED WILL BE TOLERATED. Don’t do that. Ever. I don’t care how mad she herself makes you—yes, I know she’s an arrogant hypocrite and talks about how her stuff is better than Shakespeare’s and you would love to write a fanfic where Shakespeare rises from the grave and impales her while screaming, “SHAKESPEARE’D!!!” but you can’t. Wanna know why? Because that isn’t classy. Venting your frustration by beheading all of the Cullens is one thing, but when you start writing extensive violent fantasies about hurting a real person? No. Any fics I see where Stephenie Meyer herself is featured will be deleted and you run the risk of being banned. That is final. CHARACTERS ONLY.
2) NO OFFENSIVE SPITEFICS. If your spitefic consists of you thinking the best punishment Bella could suffer for being such a horrid Sue is to be repeatedly raped by someone or something, or you decide to write “Agony in White” and have a seventy-page fic consisting of nothing but people torturing Edward Cullen in all sorts of hideous and all-too-realistic ways, forget about posting it here. That’s nasty, it’s potentially triggery and traumatizing to some readers, and could hardly be called a spitefic.
3) BE RESPECTFUL. You know the drill—no taunting, harassing, bullying, racism, sexism. Basically, don’t be a dick. However, this is a writing community, and considering the nature of it, constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged. Just keep it constructive. Just because someone’s spitefic doesn’t fit your vision of how it should have done doesn’t mean you have the right to tell them it’s bad. Write your own vision; there are no limits to how many ways you could show Bella’s cliff-dive in New Moon going wrong. And as for anyone who receives constructive criticism and whines about it? Believe me, I will not stop anyone from dog-piling you for that. Don’t try writing spitefic for Twilight and then act like Meyer herself when not everyone is impressed with what you wrote.
4) NO PLAGIARISM. “The unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one’s own original work” is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. Do NOT take someone else’s spitefic and try to say you wrote it, and be sure to always disclaim fandoms for the spitefics you do write. If I find anyone plagiarizing, whether it be fanfic or any other form of media, I will delete your post, publicly announce that you’re a plagiarist, and then ban your ass. I take plagiarism very, very seriously, and I have a no tolerance policy with it here.
5) DON’T TROLL TWILIGHT FANS. That means don’t go linking your or anyone else’s spitefic to Twilight communities or Twilight fans. You’re welcome to spread the love to like-minded communities that you think would enjoy reading or writing this kind of fanfic, but you are just asking for trouble if you link it back to Twihards—specifically, you’re trolling. Remember what I said about not being a dick? If you are caught trolling, you will be banned, temporarily or permanently, depending on the level of your offense.
6) LJ-CUT YOUR STORIES. That is a must. Go here if you don’t know how to use them. If you post a story and don’t have it behind an LJ-cut, I will warn you once, but if it isn’t fixed within a reasonable amount of time, I will delete it and you will have to repost. No exceptions.
7) STAY ON-TOPIC. This is not a general Twi-hate community, guys, so posting news about the movies or Meyer herself is not welcome and will be considered off-topic. Posting fanfic or spitefic for another fandom will be considered off-topic. If you are posting a piece of Twispite but have spitefics written for other fandoms, you are welcome to link everyone to the spitefics in question. Crossovers are welcome, so long as you state the fandoms you are crossing Twilight with as well as if there are spoilers that should be avoided for said fandom.
8) BE LEGIBLE. I won’t delete a completely incomprehensible story, but I won’t stop people from criticizing it, either, and do ask that you clean up your errors as they are pointed out. In writing a spitefic, you are criticizing Stephenie Meyer’s horrid writing. Don’t you think it stands to reason that you should put some effort into it? Don’t post something that’s rife with errors, okay? That really goes against what we’re trying to say here.
9) BOW DOWN TO THE MASCOTS. Yes, we have mascots. They are Charlie Swan, Emmett Cullen, and Leah Clearwater. You are required to pay your respects, because they are awesome but are stuck in a canon that doesn’t deserve them and they deal with so much bullshit, having to share pages with people like Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. Get to bowing. If you don’t, our guardian angel Castiel will smite your ass.
So, you now have a story to post. Even though you just went over the general rules, now you have to obey the POSTING rules. Yes, I do try to make things as difficult as possible.
1) LABEL THE STORY. The minimum requirements are down below—you can add stuff if you feel it is necessary, like author’s notes, disclaimers, or identifying just what type of spite you are writing, just make sure it’s not pages of notes.
To explain a few of them:
The “Fandom(s)” label is for people who do crossovers for their spitefics. If you aren’t doing a crossover, just put “The Twilight Series” in there.
“Inspiration” refers to just what chapter(s), paragraph, or book in particular inspired you to write your spitefic. If necessary, you can quote a few sentences, so long as you tell us what chapter and book the quote is from.
“Warnings” are if there are spoilers for any canon you use or if you are dealing with a triggery subject. Sometimes, spitefics are very serious and deal with sensitive topics, so please tell readers what they are getting into before they get into it.
2) USE AN LJ-CUT. I do feel it necessary to repeat this. The only things allowed outside of the LJ-cut are your story labels and story graphics, such as a title banner. Make sure the banner is, at most, 500x350, no larger.
3) TAG YOUR ENTRIES. We do have a nice long list of tags! I do ask that you use them. It’ll make it easier not only on me, but also on the readers who are looking for something in particular. The list of tags and how to use them is located here. If you want to request a tag, go here.
While we are primarily spitefic, I decided that perhaps there was nothing wrong with spitecons as well. I’ve seen many people read spitefics and decide they really need some icons to go along with it, whether it be a particular quote they saw and liked or just a Team Leah or Team Charlie icon. If you have spiteful graphics, such as icons, banners, wallpaper, etc., you are allowed to post them. Make sure they are being the LJ-cut, only four icons maximum allowed for a preview, and make sure that you have warnings for language, nudity, sexual content, and the like so people will know not to look at your graphics at work. Please keep your graphics Twispite (or mascot) related, and all of the same rules apply.
Have questions? Just contact either das_mervin or gehayi and we will help you to the best of our abilities.
We ask that you enjoy your stay, and have a grand time reading and spiting writing!